Monday, June 27, 2011

What rhymes with bathroom?

I am a terrible person.  As I write this I'm eating only the red and purple Spree candies out of the tube. I pity the person who eats yellow after orange after green after orange in the hopes of finding just one red or purple one.  I don't play that way.  I pick the ones I want and I eat them, the rest go in the garbage if I can't pawn them off on my husband or son.

The topic for today is: bathroom renovation.  We live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment in New York City.  That's right, I said ONE BATHROOM.  And guess what?  It doesn't have a tub.  Surprise!  The guy who lived here before us was in a wheelchair and had the tub removed, the sink lowered (with no storage underneath) and a neat wooden seat installed into a gigantic, 2-headed, roll-in shower.  Now I could think of about a hundred swingers who would love that kind of shower.  But I live with a 6 yr old and a 1 1/2 year old and the only swinging they do is from the monkey bars at the playground.  Did I just use dirty euphemisms regarding my children?  As I already said in my opening paragraph, I'm a terrible person.  But that's not the point.  My point is WE DON'T HAVE A TUB and what kind of parent deprives their child of that fairytale childhood event:  bath time!?  *pops purple Spree into mouth*  You betcha.

Up until now we've had the largest of the small kiddie tubs to bathe our older child in.  The first 3 years that was perfect, but now my 6 yr old's legs and head hang over the sides if he tries to 'float,' god bless him.  And we're using one of those tiny baby tubs for Chubbles (have I mentioned the size of his haunches) and the situation is at maximum capacity.


So it's time to renovate and put in a tub.  I have had to find alternate places to live for me and the little boys for the entire month of July.  I could bore you with the details of life at my mother's house in New Jersey, or I could lie and tell you we're spending the entire month in a beachfront hut in Tahiti.  You decide what you want to hear and go with it.

I'm heading out tomorrow after Asher's last day of Kindergarten (which I'm completely sublimating else I start welling up with mommy tears and apron string nonsense).  *sigh*  And I'm going to try to make it work, running my shop from an alternate location (and hopefully poolside).  Hope you like Hawaiian Punch with your Modern Rock studs, baby.


I'll be back in the Big Apple in August, hopefully with a lovely 6ft soaking tub to come home to.  Happy Summer, people!

3 comments:

Dawanna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dawanna Young said...

You are so funny!!! Can't wait to hear about how much you love your new bathroom.

p.s. why do they even MAKE yellow and green sprees?! *gag*

Metalicious said...

Thanks D, you are the best!!!