Tuesday, January 26, 2010

O Karaoke


I love singing but I'm not a big fan of singing in front of people. Let me clarify, I come from a Von Trapp type family and we all can sing, and in high school I performed in musicals and accapella groups. And I love Glee. But the truth is I have severe stage fright when it comes to singing in front of people (just like Barbra--ha).

Karaoke is genius and can be so much fun (especially when my tone-deaf husband sings Mr. Roboto in falsetto, it makes me cry). But it can also be horrifying if you pick the wrong song and it makes people cringe and feel sorry for you and walk away to get another drink, hoping that being by the bar will mute you somehow.

But I still love it, and a few cosmos with a splash of sour mix help anyone hit the high notes in a 'Heart' song. Ann and Nancy Wilson are goddesses, no question.

I believe there is a true art to picking the 'right' karaoke song. First you need to know your audience. Are they hipster kids who have no clue who Wonder Woman is and would vomit if they heard you sing Copacabana? Or are there lots of Big Band aficionados who will applaud your version of Nat King Cole's L-O-V-E? In any case, you need to know who you are singing to. No matter how much you love 'Careless Whisper' it ain't gonna get people clapping along.

Also, fast songs are more likely to keep people from covering their ears. Even if you suck people will stick around because they think the song is going to be over soon because it is fast. And you need to pick a song that fits your vocal range. Women, this means a low song. Don't try to sing anything by Judy Garland because you will sound like a cat in heat. Don't ask me how I know, just trust me on this. So think of songs you like that are sung by a man. Or Joan Jett.

If you feel your song is bombing, there's not much you can do. But don't give up, there's nothing worse than a karaoke song with no one singing it, it's akin to listening to Muzak. So give it your all. This means you should wave your hands, shake your butt and sing like there's no one in the room with you. Because probably at this point, it's true.

I don't do a whole lot of karaoke, but I do like to analyze it. Based on my attending, singing, bombing and rocking karaoke I have some ideas as to what songs are less apt to leave you Dancing with Yourself. So with no further ado, here are my top 10 favorite karaoke songs:

1) I Love Rock-n-Roll
2) Bohemian Rhapsody
3) Don't Stop Believin' (or any Journey song really)
4) On the Radio
5) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
6) Fat Bottomed Girls (or anything else by Queen)
7) New York, New York
8) The Lady is a Tramp
9) Fame
10) What a Feelin'